What’s with all these titles? How, for instance, do you come to claim the title of Holy Roman Emperor?

The last Holy Roman Emperor abdicated, at Napoleon Bonaparte’s urgent request, in 1806, and so far nobody else has stepped up to claim the Crown Imperial; the Electors haven’t shown any interest in choosing a successor; as long as Providence has not called upon anyone else to assume the trust, I feel it my own duty to do so. I found the Holy Roman Empire as alone and helpless as an abandoned kitten, and what kind of a man would I be if I shirked the responsibility to take care of that which had been placed before me?

How can you claim to be King of the United States of America, and all those other titles? We’re a republic with a President, right?

We have a republic with a President, indeed, and it’s high time that system were replaced. As our government is set up at present, the President is a sort of elected King. And there’s the problem. Robert Penn Warren once wrote, “A true chief, no self has.” But you can’t be an elected leader, and selfless. Whatever you do, as President, is done to keep yourself popular, get re-elected or allow you to leave office well-beloved.

By replacing our elected King with an hereditary King, a King who knows from childhood that one day he will be King for the rest of his life, we'd remove any conflict of interest. Instead of a politician who cares for nothing but keeping his job, we’d have a ruler born of a family that had been bred and trained for service to its country.

I favor abolition of the Presidency and Congress, to be replaced by government by The King In Council, with a bicameral Parliament, for advisory and revenue-raising purposes: an elected House of Commons, and an unelected House of Lords, the latter composed of hereditary and life Peers.

It strikes me that a government by The King In Council would be the strongest possible guarantor of individual liberties. As King of the United States, I will not be a perfect person, or a perfect ruler. But at least, a King will be in a position to worry less about doing the POPULAR thing, and more about doing the RIGHT thing. The extraordinary trust placed in such a person will virtually guarantee that he will suppress his own worst instincts, and force himself to be, at all times, a servant of his subjects.

Okay, and what makes you Heavyweight Champion of the World?

At present, the plain fact that I claim the title and nobody has beaten me for it. I realize that there are other claimants to the title. Lennox Lewis of England, in particular, seems to have a strong claim, and of course I have great respect for his fighting abilities. I’m quite prepared to fight him, if sufficient public interest can be generated.

And why do you have this Website?

Mainly to show off.

- Josephus Rex Imperator